Oh So Thankful

I can’t help but answer those security questions that ask what is your favorite holiday with Thanksgiving. Yes, I love the Christmas season for it’s nostalgia and traditions. And our family and friends really enjoy the creativity and theatrics of Halloween. But Thanksgiving to me is the perfect day. A day devoted to food and family. As much as I love my church, I don’t have to be anywhere for a service. The stress of cooking all day isn’t stress for me at all but a respite for my soul. Pouring my love and thankfulness into whatever meal I choose to prepare. Then gathering somewhere with some people to enjoy the food, the conversation, and the time that passes. There’s football on or played outside. We always take a walk or hike or do something physical to burn off all that we ate. But the real reason it is my favorite is the focus.

This is the only holiday where you are meant to spend the day trying to think only of the gifts you’ve been granted. I think this practice comes easily for me, but I’ve noticed over the years that it doesn’t for others. Whether it is their negative mindset or their selfish desires, it is sometimes difficult for people of any economic or social stature to take a time to just sit in the thankfulness of simple things. I, personally, make it a daily business practice to declare 1 thing that I am thankful for that day. It is a section in my Planner (https://www.canva.com/design/DAGW7rIBiTk/JlvQXEukf0O9oKri5-91DA/view?utm_content=DAGW7rIBiTk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=uniquelinks&utlId=h0a552cb279 – 2026 will be available in December. Designs can be customized.) But some people lack that ability because it isn’t a skill they were taught. I wanted to make sure I taught that skill to my little people (and the teenagers I taught for years) so I would come up with a way every year that people could express gratitude for things even in the most undesirable life stages and situations. Here are a few great ideas I’ve gather, and some I’ve used over the years, to make an activity for your Thanksgiving gathering…

Gratitude Centerpiece – Since it should be the center of your feast anyway, why not create a centerpiece out of all the things you and your guests are thankful for! Use a mason jar, flower vase, special turkey shaped ceramic, or a tree. Decorate with leaves, nuts, cranberries and your favorite ribbon and accessories. I’ve found easy to use items at the Dollar Tree. Fill the centerpiece with notes or cut out leaves where everyone has written something they are thankful for.

Gratitude Journal – This one is great if you like to give your guests small party favors! It could be very inexpensive, or you could really go all out. Wrap a journal for every person to take home as a gift. Inside the front cover of each journal, tape or glue a list of Gratitude Journal Prompts. You could gift them a simple small notebook, again Dollar Tree has great ones in the stationary section. Or search Etsy for a beautiful bound leather journal. I like the ones that you can change out the paper inside like This One. Wrap the journals in brown craft paper and attach beautiful ribbon or decoration to the gift with their name to use as place setting markers at the table.

Thankful Table Runner – I’ve done this for the entire week leading up to Thanksgiving! Tape a long piece of paper to the wall and have everyone write a different thing they are thankful for on it every morning. Wrapping paper or craft paper work well for this. One year we had a piece of cardboard painted with chalkboard paint. Find some pretty pens or pencils, pain pens, or chalk paint pens to store close by on a string or in a jar. Write (or print out) something big in the middle. Use this as your table runner for Thanksgiving dinner, or just leave it there through the hustle and bustle of presents and Christmas.

Gratitude Game – There are some great ideas out there! Search Pintrest to find more, but this is my favorite. Everyone rolls the dice. The number they land on tells them what they have to say they are greatful for. You can purchase these on Etsy or just make them yourself. I would make this the placesetting at the table, maybe with their name on it, and let everyone write down what they are thankful for. You may even go find different die and theme it out (IYKYK)!

Picture Op – Everyone (especially younger ones) enjoys a good photo op. And we never get enough pictures at Thanksgiving! You can have these made or make them yourself. Create a frame for everyone to take a photo in. It would be really neat to have them write what they are thankful for and a way to change it for every person. Make a corner of your home the Photo Booth. Include props and signs that say what everyone is thankful for. I have some great ideas for that (and many other things) in my Holidays Pinterest Board.

Most importantly, take some time this November to think, write, and say outloud some of the things that you have to be thankful for. Think about the simple things that we take for granted everyday. Things that you can’t live without. Things that there are probably people in this world that do live without. Things that make you and your life unique to this world. There is a ton of research out there that proves some type of gratitude practice can lead to more physical and emotional health. Even if you or your guests and family don’t turn this in to a “practice”, it is a great way to frame the reason for this season…especially a we gear up for the next season!

Spring Babies

As the temperature warms and the sun shows up in the sky for more hours in the day, things on the farm begin to change. We had a rough winter for our chicken flock and I was waiting for those two things to happen so I could add baby chicks to the farm. Now it is here and so are the babies, but I thought I would update you on how we got here and the lessons we learned.

We had experienced a few seperate issues that got us to this point.

Hawk attacks…On two separate occasions haws got into our chicken run! Wanna know how? Human error! It was not the hawks fault or the chickens fault so much as it was our fault. There was an entire section of the run not covered in fencing. Hawk flew right in, attached the smallest chicken, my only remaining hen, and then struggled so hard to escape through a different section of the fence it ended up injuring it’s wing all while the 2 roosters and other hen watched from the other side of the run. The second hawk attack was similar, a section of the fencing not attached well to the frame of the run. (anyone see a theme here?) The interesting thing about both attacks is that we had been watching whese 2 giant hawks hunting a mole in our pasture for weeks, worried about them and the chickens. But those two didn’t do it! It was 2 smaller, adolescent hawks that made it into the chicken run. Now, we have gaurdian owls!

New, Homemade, Made from Pallet Wood Coop and Run!

Perimeter Breaks…Wanna guess whose fault number 2 is? It follows the theme! When putting fencing around the perimeter of the run, there were these brace boards that caused the fencing to not sit flush with the board or staple close enough to the board. It created almost like a little tent between the board and the ground. Did we go back and fix that issue after the fencing was installed? Not soon enough! Something, still no idea what, managed to get under that area and pull out the 2 remaining chickens. I was able to follow a string of feathers to find this little fence tent that got left for nothing less than laziness.

Old age…This one isn’t our fault, but I learned a lot. A few years ago my oldest daughter brought home 4 chickens that she bought at Tractor Supply, completely without permission, of course, as she has done with all but 1 of her animals. I had no idea what type of chickens they were, still don’t really. If I had to hazard a guess, they were something like a Long-Island Red (we have had those before, but they were bigger and meaner that these girls were). The benefit was, they laid a ton of eggs! So I kinda forgave her after a while. In the last year we lost 2 hens for seemingly no reason. They didn’t seem sick or have any signs of problems. They just slowed down and one day were dead. I believe it was old age. Chickens can live to be 7 or 8, but when they lay eggs, especially large eggs every single day (these girls laid double yolks all the time) their life expectancy shortens. They are working too hard for their bodies to keep up. We have bread them to give us more of what we want, but less of what they can handle.

I waited for the weather to get warmer before I got new chickens because I don’t have anywhere in my home for a brooder. I Was considering getting older chickens, but found a local lady that breeds Silkies so I picked up 6. The breeder looked very well kept and the chickens seemed healthy. And yet, as I sit here, I have one baby that is not thriving. I have her sectioned off in a container by herself for a little extra warmth and am trying to get her to drink water through a syringe, but I have no idea if she will make it. Such is the #farmlife. It is always something and not for the faint of heart. But I wouldn’t trade it for any other #life in the world, #lakelife, #citylife, or whatever.

Barn Cats

Have you ever met a barn cat? They can be a little ellusive. Usually they are wounded or scarred, stay away from human touch, and hide in plain sight. We inherited a barn cat named Mr. Bojangles when we bought this farm. When I first moved here as a renter, he welcomed me with loud cries for food and scary hiding spots in the rafters of my car port. But he was nothing like most barn cats I had known. Unfortunately, he is missing. We are worried and confused but still a little hopeful because he is such a special barn cat.

We always had barn cats on the farm I grew up on with my grandparents. They lived in the basement at night and roamed the farm in the day. I do remember one story of a particular cat who climed into the engine of my grandfathers old Dodge and wasn’t found until after he started the car to go to work that night. I don’t remember any of their names, though I know they had names. And I don’t remember ever snuggling or playing with them.

That is what made Bojangles, or Bo, so different. He was the best fire side cuddler on the farm. If it was cold and you had a fire going, he would curl up in your lap for a little snooze. Most evenings, fire or not, he would come to the house for some loving and an extra scoop of dry cat food, though he had just gotten a can of wet food in the tack room for supper. He loved to be picked up and cuddled like a baby, but only by me and my hubby. At our new farm house, he would sit at the back sliding glass door most nights taunting the inside cat into a game of show and tell. She would show him her toys and he would pretend he didn’t care. When we were new to his farm he had what we called a broken purr. It was rough and incomplete. We always said it was because he didn’t get enough practice. Over the years it fixed itself, or we fixed it, with all the loving he got. He greeted newcomers, human and animal, with caution at first, but quickly taught you how to respect his wishes.

I have always said he will be the subject of a childrens book one day. When the lady built this barn she adopted him and brought him here as a barn cat, but he soon won her heart and she decided to take him to her house for him to live as a house cat. One day, he got out and they couldn’t find him. A few weeks later he turned up back at the barn. This was his home. He chose it. Which is why it feels so empty now that he’s gone. It’s been 2 weeks now and there have been no signs of him. But I haven’t completely given up hope.

He’s been gone for a day or two before, but this is unusual. He’s lived on this farm for 10 years or more and avoided every preditor known to man, and probably some we don’t see. I have watched him run from a fight straight up a tree. He’s tough, but most of all he is smart and fast. I don’t think any of that changed. I don’t see him loosing speed or timing, even if he’s gotten older. He still doesn’t trust people or animals enough to get in trouble. We had a foster dog that didn’t know what to think of this big fluffy cat that came so close to him. The foster dog, Felix, was old and had spent a few years roaming the woods of a neighborhood when we picked him up. We were sure he had seen cats, but he didn’t know what to do with them. It was almost as if they had terrorized him and so he had to chase them away from his food. Bo just sat there and let Felix sniff him. He didn’t make a move or run or hiss. And Felix gently opened his mouth slowly around Bo’s neck. Bo was giving him the benefit of the doubt. But he quickly taught the old man to be a little more respectful.

If he’s lost, I know he can take care of himself. Sure, we feed him. We actually feed him a lot because he always looks so skinny. It’s a true testament to what an active lifestyle can do. But he’s resourceful enough to feed himself. And he absolutely LOVED to show you. He presented us with twin chipmunks laid perfectly side-by-side in a horse stall, birds of all sizes on the door mat, baby bunnies one after another when praised for a being a good boy, and more mice than you can count which he would swallow whole while our dog watched with great envy. If he’s been captured by someone else trying to turn him into a couch potato, he might get out again and come back. Or he might choose the indoor lifestyle for a bit!

At the end of the day, he’s a barn cat. We should envy their freedom. He can do whatever he wants, go wherever he wants, and be whatever he wants. There are people that love him and respect his independence right here on this farm. With that respect comes the unknown, a little bit of sorrow, and maybe some fear. Barn cats come and go sometimes without the help or permission of humans. I guess that’s what makes them so special.

Heart Breaks

You learn how to deal with heart breaks. Sometimes it’s when hours of training seems to have evaporated into thin air in two seconds. But always it is when we outlive the ones we love the most.

Consider your life span. My goal is to be as cool as my Grandma who lived to be 93. If so, that’s enough time to outlive an average of 8-10 pets, assuming I only have one at a time, and very few people are capable of that. There are some that become part of our souls, whether because they are around so long or exist at a time that’s so important. And some we don’t even realize we will miss until we do. I wonder if it’s worth it often. Do I really want to live through that heart break over again in a few years? Is it worth my tears to have spent all of that time and energy and emotion  and power and money on them? Do they really value it? Do I really need it? Does it make any difference for them or me?

The answer is yes! To all of them…yes!

This is a story about Kate…

Kate is not a sweet little girl to most. She came to the rescue at about 1 year old, maybe 2.  I was in the middle of a terrible divorce and ugly custody battle. I had nothing to my name. I barely had a job, barely could pay rent, barely could feed myself and my kids. My best friend, who knows me better than anyone, called one day and said, “you should foster this cat.” She’s crazy, literally. My best friend and this cat! I wasn’t a very sweet girl then either.

I pick her up at a storage facility, where the rescue gives me everything I will need, litter box, food bowls, etc, because I am too poor to buy any of it. We are fine. She meets the kids. She is fine. My 6 year old carries her around like a football. She is fine. On a Saturday, I put her in a carrier and take her to an adoption event. She is fine. Person number 1 walks over to pet her and she turns into a she-devil that will tear you to shreds and eat you from the inside out. We try every Saturday, at great sacrifice to many because of work schedules, school schedules, custody days, and crazy ex-husbands. She literally bites at least two people a day. They have to put a sign on her kennel that says CAUTION! At home, my six year old still carries her around like a football and she couldn’t care less. Finally the rescue calls and says, “would you like to make Kate a part of your family?”

“Oh, no! I can’t afford the adoption fees!”

“Oh! We’ll waive those. Please just don’t bring her back to an adoption event.”

What?! Seriously?! I don’t want a cat! I can’t even feed myself every day of the week!

Five years later she is the matriarch of this crazy farm life we lead. She is  the OG, seriously, Original Gangster! She will allow you to pet her, purr sweetly while you do, then attack your ankle viciously while you walk away. When her bowl is empty at night she gets on the headboard and throws whatever item she can find on your head to wake you up. She has taught 1 crazy, stray hound dog how to live with a cat, and 1 cute, baby kitten how to survive a tough sisterhood. She explained to an outdoor OG the difference between life on the inside and life on the outside. She relished her peace and quiet when we were all away on vacation. She hid in a few pocketbooks, boxes, and drawers. She sometimes made a break for it out the door, but soon realized how stupid that idea was. And always let mommy love her, even if she completely disagreed. Because for some reason Mommy was always different.

And then today she is diagnosed with a non-curable, non-diagnosable, non-treatable condition called FIP, Feline Infectious Peritonitis. The fluid around her lungs can be removed, but it will come back. The fluid in her abdomen can be tapped, but it will come back. The mass in her intestines is likely not cancerous but can’t be fixed. She is dehydrated and will need IV fluids. Her breathing is labored so an oxygen kennel will be needed. So IV fluids, oxygen tank kennel thingy, syringes of fluid from her chest and abdomen for this original OG, ‘I’d rather bite you than look at you’, precious little girl who may or may not have kept me alive through the roughest part of my life…  Only to extend her days on this Earth for maybe a week? No thanks, she said. I’m good. I got you through when you needed it. Now you can get me through this. We straight.

And just like that, heart broken.

If you know anything about trauma, you know that healing from it is a very long process. You don’t look at how far you’ve come in 10 years and say that’s that. I, at least, remember every day of those horrible years. Time doesn’t fly when you are being abused and scared. Some counselors have called it PTSD, and I get that. But now, when I remember them I am hurting for what they were and for the little ball of kitty fur that walked me through it. I will miss my little gangster. And I would keep her over and over, even knowing today how much it hurts. Maybe, we are the ones worth it, those of us that save them. We deserve the love and care they give us. Maybe it is their job in this universe to remind us that we deserve love and snuggles and little sandpaper kisses. And maybe we needed to know that. I needed to know that I was worth it.