Oh So Thankful

I can’t help but answer those security questions that ask what is your favorite holiday with Thanksgiving. Yes, I love the Christmas season for it’s nostalgia and traditions. And our family and friends really enjoy the creativity and theatrics of Halloween. But Thanksgiving to me is the perfect day. A day devoted to food and family. As much as I love my church, I don’t have to be anywhere for a service. The stress of cooking all day isn’t stress for me at all but a respite for my soul. Pouring my love and thankfulness into whatever meal I choose to prepare. Then gathering somewhere with some people to enjoy the food, the conversation, and the time that passes. There’s football on or played outside. We always take a walk or hike or do something physical to burn off all that we ate. But the real reason it is my favorite is the focus.

This is the only holiday where you are meant to spend the day trying to think only of the gifts you’ve been granted. I think this practice comes easily for me, but I’ve noticed over the years that it doesn’t for others. Whether it is their negative mindset or their selfish desires, it is sometimes difficult for people of any economic or social stature to take a time to just sit in the thankfulness of simple things. I, personally, make it a daily business practice to declare 1 thing that I am thankful for that day. It is a section in my Planner (https://www.canva.com/design/DAGW7rIBiTk/JlvQXEukf0O9oKri5-91DA/view?utm_content=DAGW7rIBiTk&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=uniquelinks&utlId=h0a552cb279 – 2026 will be available in December. Designs can be customized.) But some people lack that ability because it isn’t a skill they were taught. I wanted to make sure I taught that skill to my little people (and the teenagers I taught for years) so I would come up with a way every year that people could express gratitude for things even in the most undesirable life stages and situations. Here are a few great ideas I’ve gather, and some I’ve used over the years, to make an activity for your Thanksgiving gathering…

Gratitude Centerpiece – Since it should be the center of your feast anyway, why not create a centerpiece out of all the things you and your guests are thankful for! Use a mason jar, flower vase, special turkey shaped ceramic, or a tree. Decorate with leaves, nuts, cranberries and your favorite ribbon and accessories. I’ve found easy to use items at the Dollar Tree. Fill the centerpiece with notes or cut out leaves where everyone has written something they are thankful for.

Gratitude Journal – This one is great if you like to give your guests small party favors! It could be very inexpensive, or you could really go all out. Wrap a journal for every person to take home as a gift. Inside the front cover of each journal, tape or glue a list of Gratitude Journal Prompts. You could gift them a simple small notebook, again Dollar Tree has great ones in the stationary section. Or search Etsy for a beautiful bound leather journal. I like the ones that you can change out the paper inside like This One. Wrap the journals in brown craft paper and attach beautiful ribbon or decoration to the gift with their name to use as place setting markers at the table.

Thankful Table Runner – I’ve done this for the entire week leading up to Thanksgiving! Tape a long piece of paper to the wall and have everyone write a different thing they are thankful for on it every morning. Wrapping paper or craft paper work well for this. One year we had a piece of cardboard painted with chalkboard paint. Find some pretty pens or pencils, pain pens, or chalk paint pens to store close by on a string or in a jar. Write (or print out) something big in the middle. Use this as your table runner for Thanksgiving dinner, or just leave it there through the hustle and bustle of presents and Christmas.

Gratitude Game – There are some great ideas out there! Search Pintrest to find more, but this is my favorite. Everyone rolls the dice. The number they land on tells them what they have to say they are greatful for. You can purchase these on Etsy or just make them yourself. I would make this the placesetting at the table, maybe with their name on it, and let everyone write down what they are thankful for. You may even go find different die and theme it out (IYKYK)!

Picture Op – Everyone (especially younger ones) enjoys a good photo op. And we never get enough pictures at Thanksgiving! You can have these made or make them yourself. Create a frame for everyone to take a photo in. It would be really neat to have them write what they are thankful for and a way to change it for every person. Make a corner of your home the Photo Booth. Include props and signs that say what everyone is thankful for. I have some great ideas for that (and many other things) in my Holidays Pinterest Board.

Most importantly, take some time this November to think, write, and say outloud some of the things that you have to be thankful for. Think about the simple things that we take for granted everyday. Things that you can’t live without. Things that there are probably people in this world that do live without. Things that make you and your life unique to this world. There is a ton of research out there that proves some type of gratitude practice can lead to more physical and emotional health. Even if you or your guests and family don’t turn this in to a “practice”, it is a great way to frame the reason for this season…especially a we gear up for the next season!

Downsizing

Graduation season is here and parents of those graduates are starting to think about what happens next! It’s a crazy time of life because you are likely caring for almost adult children and aging parents at the same time. There is no time like the present to DOWNSIZE. It may be just the child’s bedroom or it may be your parents whole house, but the process can be difficult and stressful. The last thing you want is to have to do it in a hurry, making decisions you’ll regret later. I suggest starting way before you actually have to. Here are 5 tips that can help!

Clarify your Goals – What do you want to accomplish in the next 10 years? As the kids are off to live their life, it could be opening doors for your life that you hadn’t thought about. If you are retiring, there could be something that you always wanted to accomplish that you finally have time to work toward. Start with your WHY! Not sure what I mean by that or have never dug in to you Why? Read the book Start with Why by Simon Sinek! I went through the process about 7 years ago and realized that my Why is to HELP people. Every decision I make in my business is filtered through that why, so if there is a decision to be made I ask “will it help people?”. Maybe your Why is to see the world! That would require a lot of time and planning and probably a lot less stuff in your home!

Declutter – Go room by room and take inventory. Make a bin for Donate, Sell or Toss. Remember all the fuss years ago about the Marie Kondo method… “If it doesn’t bring you joy!” If you didn’t do that when it was trending, this is a great time to do it. And if you did, I bet you need to do it again! It is amazing the amount of stuff we accumulate in a year. Don’t be afraid to do it once or twice a year. This is the most time consuming part, so start early. You may need to hire a professional. I have a few companies that will come do this for you, determining if there are valuable things for an estate sale or what can just get trashed. My favorite right now is BlueStar Move Management. I have had tons of people ask me for a company like this and I finally found one!

Evaluate Financial Position – Finances will definitely change at this stage of life, so take some time to speak to your financial person or review your budget. Remember that equity in your home can be turned into cash if there are college bills to pay or properties to buy, especially now with all the changes to college loans. In past experiences I have used a couple of strategies that may work for you. If you are looking to move a parent and downsize their home, consider using the equity in their current home to purchase or put a downpayment on the new one. Once the original home sells everything will be paid off at closing. If you are looking for a space to move you college kid, considering using the equity in your own home to buy or put a down payment on that property. If you choose to purchase that property outright, it will be an investment property and require a 20% downpayment, but if you have leases signed or commitments from tenants to pay rent, it will likely not count on your own Debt To Income (DTI) ratio. There are also loan products available called bridge loans, where the lender will help if you have to buy then sell a property.

Evaluate Housing Options – If you have a kid on their way to college or the real world, you could potentially turn their need for housing into your first investment property! Don’t allow them to pay rent to someone else when they, and their friends, could pay rent to you. I even like the idea of letting that child “buy” the home from you once they have finished school and have a job. Whether they choose to live in it, sell it, or rent it out, they can start their adult life with the one thing that truly creates financial mobility, home ownership. There are many options as we retire for downsized housing that can easily fit into those goals you clarified earlier. We recently moved my mother into a condo at the lake. It is a big switch from her house of 50 years in the middle of Charlotte on almost an acre of land, but she has grown to really love it. It took us about 3 months to get her completely moved in and downsized. We purchased the condo first so she could take her time with a loan that I “co-signed” for. Once we sold her house in Charlotte we simply paid off the loan and the HELOC money we had borrowed to help make that transition.

Condominiums can be a great choice for Graduates or Retires because of the small space, smaller price point, and amenities the community offers. The can also turn into great rental properties for short-term or long-term rentals, but make sure to read the association documents carefully.

Execute – Make a schedule to achieve those goals. Find help and assistance where needed. You may need to hire movers, contractors, a real estate agent, or a home management company. There are lots of options! I talk to familys all the time that are trying to sell properties once the family member is deceased. They are left with an entire home full of belongings that they do not know what to do with. These Move Management companies can come in and sort through to see if an estate sale would be worth it, or what items should just get junked or donated. I recently spoke to a woman who was doing her best to go through and get rid of as many things as possible before that happened to her children. It may be as simple as a detailed outline in a will that gives every member of the family the responsibility of the items. Something that specific would need to be revised in a timely manner.

At the end of the day we can’t all be like my Aunt Peggy who sold all of her worldly possessions except for 1 chair, a plate, and a fork to travel the world in her RV, but I do think we could eliminate the clutter around us in order to eliminate some of the clutter in our lives. Starting with a blank slate in the big changes of our life can be scary so seek some help. Whether you are cleaning out a graduates bedroom to fill their dorm or making a spare bed room, or downsizing a whole home into a condo in retirement, it will take Goals, Help, and a Plan!

Spring Babies

As the temperature warms and the sun shows up in the sky for more hours in the day, things on the farm begin to change. We had a rough winter for our chicken flock and I was waiting for those two things to happen so I could add baby chicks to the farm. Now it is here and so are the babies, but I thought I would update you on how we got here and the lessons we learned.

We had experienced a few seperate issues that got us to this point.

Hawk attacks…On two separate occasions haws got into our chicken run! Wanna know how? Human error! It was not the hawks fault or the chickens fault so much as it was our fault. There was an entire section of the run not covered in fencing. Hawk flew right in, attached the smallest chicken, my only remaining hen, and then struggled so hard to escape through a different section of the fence it ended up injuring it’s wing all while the 2 roosters and other hen watched from the other side of the run. The second hawk attack was similar, a section of the fencing not attached well to the frame of the run. (anyone see a theme here?) The interesting thing about both attacks is that we had been watching whese 2 giant hawks hunting a mole in our pasture for weeks, worried about them and the chickens. But those two didn’t do it! It was 2 smaller, adolescent hawks that made it into the chicken run. Now, we have gaurdian owls!

New, Homemade, Made from Pallet Wood Coop and Run!

Perimeter Breaks…Wanna guess whose fault number 2 is? It follows the theme! When putting fencing around the perimeter of the run, there were these brace boards that caused the fencing to not sit flush with the board or staple close enough to the board. It created almost like a little tent between the board and the ground. Did we go back and fix that issue after the fencing was installed? Not soon enough! Something, still no idea what, managed to get under that area and pull out the 2 remaining chickens. I was able to follow a string of feathers to find this little fence tent that got left for nothing less than laziness.

Old age…This one isn’t our fault, but I learned a lot. A few years ago my oldest daughter brought home 4 chickens that she bought at Tractor Supply, completely without permission, of course, as she has done with all but 1 of her animals. I had no idea what type of chickens they were, still don’t really. If I had to hazard a guess, they were something like a Long-Island Red (we have had those before, but they were bigger and meaner that these girls were). The benefit was, they laid a ton of eggs! So I kinda forgave her after a while. In the last year we lost 2 hens for seemingly no reason. They didn’t seem sick or have any signs of problems. They just slowed down and one day were dead. I believe it was old age. Chickens can live to be 7 or 8, but when they lay eggs, especially large eggs every single day (these girls laid double yolks all the time) their life expectancy shortens. They are working too hard for their bodies to keep up. We have bread them to give us more of what we want, but less of what they can handle.

I waited for the weather to get warmer before I got new chickens because I don’t have anywhere in my home for a brooder. I Was considering getting older chickens, but found a local lady that breeds Silkies so I picked up 6. The breeder looked very well kept and the chickens seemed healthy. And yet, as I sit here, I have one baby that is not thriving. I have her sectioned off in a container by herself for a little extra warmth and am trying to get her to drink water through a syringe, but I have no idea if she will make it. Such is the #farmlife. It is always something and not for the faint of heart. But I wouldn’t trade it for any other #life in the world, #lakelife, #citylife, or whatever.

Building Things

I absolutely love building things! What I have learned about myself in my last decade on Earth is that I truly enjoy figuring out how to do something myself. It brings me so much joy when I have an idea or plan and it works out! But what I’ve noticed the most is that my plan never works out exactly the way I plan it. There is always some variation that, inevitably, works out better. I have enjoyed learning the faith involved in that element of building. I have built a farm, a business, a family and a home. I have many plans to build many more things in my next decade. Building things takes a little knowledge, a bit of strategy, and a lot of faith.

My best example of building things, in real estate at least, is my current house. If you are not familiar, we built a new construction home on our existing farm. I had so many plans and ideas that didn’t work out! The biggest change that had to be made was in the location of the house. I wanted it placed in the woods on the other side of the creek. We built (and paid for) a culvert, an extra long drive way, and tons of gravel that gets absolutely no use today. But in the end, the house is perfect. We have a brand new home in a great location that gave us a ton of instant equity. I brought the knowledge of how to build the house using a contractor mainly from researching and working through a million different scenarios. We strategized the entire time, learning about land development, financing rules, and building issues. But the real magic came in the faith that it would turn out for the best. And it sure did!

A more recent example of building in real estate is the new construction project that my clients recently went under contract on. It is a gorgeous new house outside of Asheville. An independent builder bought this lot in a new neighborhood and designed and began construction on the home. We went under contract when it was at about 70% complete. This is a unique dynamic where the builder agent is NOT controlling the process of the build for my clients, the way a community home builder or track home builder would. In this case, a buyer agent, such as myself, has proved to be more important than ever! I am trying to help my clients understand what they can and cannot do, since the construction is nearly complete. We recently had an issue with granite. The buyers were able to pick granite, but they didn’t like the selections the builder gave them. As always, my philosophy of real estate is that there is always a solution, so that skill has proved invaluable in new construction!

Probably my most valuable thing that I built is this homestead! It may never be complete, either. But it is truly exactly what I wanted. My goal out here on the farm is to be a self sustaining as possible. I am no doomsday planner, but I grew up in a family that grew our own food and relied on family and friends to get things done. We have been able to create that out here, on a small scale, and I have tons of plans to continue that building…like solar panels on the barn, a deck and detached garage, and increasing the garden.

Building things is my biggest goal in life! I want to build more houses. But I also want to build family and business. I want to help other people build businesses. I want to build more houses for other people. I truly enjoy watching the process, even if I end up cussing the majority of the way through, like we did on our home! That’s the proof that I’m meant to build things. I have a small amount of knowledge and plan to really increase that, maybe even getting my own contractor license. I am great at creating a strategy in all the areas of building! And my faith in the process gets stronger and stronger every time I am proved wrong! I look forward to a long line of more things to build!

Advice from a Former Teacher

I spent 10+ years in a public school High School English classroom. This time of year is wildly nostalgic for me, because I truly enjoyed being a teacher, though I didn’t enjoy a lot of the things that went along with it. I thought I might give you some idea of best practices to keep in mind as all the people go back to school, whether you have little ones or not. You see, in America we have compensatory national education. It’s amazing! Kids have to go to school. So this time of year is really a transition for the entire community, not just those with kiddos. 

Parents: Be kind. Be patient. You children have spent a few months in coast mode. Turning the learning back on doesn’t happen over night. Give them grace. Make it a big deal. Throw a party. Celebrate the day/week. Take them somewhere special. Make their favorite snack or dinner. Show up for everything. YES! Every single open house and parent-teacher event! IF you care, they will too. NO MATTER WHAT AGE! High Schools (even colleges) have those events too! Check in on homework. Ask about their favorite class. Ask about friends. Show interest.

Teachers: Take care of you. Allow time to decompress. Workout after school. Go to bed early. Read something not educational. Show the kiddos love AFTER you show them a little strength. Show the parents understanding. Prepare but don’t control. Roll with the punches and remember what is truly important (not math)!

Administrators: Have the teacher’s backs. Smile at the kids. Say hello to everyone. Introduce yourself. Get out of your office at class changes and lunches. Show up even if it’s not your duty. 

Coaches: Be tough but kind. Set expectations early. Coach the whole kid, not just the athlete.

Grandparents: Ask how their day was. Call. Text. Send a note. Don’t forget to check on the parents. 

Bros/Sis: Check in on anyone that went back to school. Wish them luck. Offer them help. Listen. Observe. 

Bosses: Be kind. This month is full of firsts that may be emotional or just plain hard. Understand that life is about so much more than the job. Help wherever you can. 

Clergy: Pray for all of them! This is a giant team effort and the fate of our world literally depends on its success. 

I know there are people without children that don’t think this applies to them, but it really does. This is likely the hardest week of the year for many families. Whether your support is tangible or emotional, just keep in mind what is going on in the lives of so many people during these next few weeks. Do you have any stories to share about your first days of school (past or present)? I would love to feature them on my social media!! Either connect with me on FaceBook or Insta or email them to me at mary.page@givingtreerealty.com!